Tuesday, May 9, 2017

The Guardians of the Puritanical Galaxy!

Just watched a soulless movie (and by soulless I also mean 'sexless') that all but forgot about romance and affection, 'Guardians of the Galaxy 2'. The over-eager to please director and producers filled this film with so much material junk that not a single aspect of affection beyond a long delayed 'hand around the waist of another'is seen. A cold and uninvolving waste of time!! Shit blowing up left and right, forced humor, dull performances (do to a lackluster script). This movie is best summed up by paraphrasing a better writer, William Shakespeare, and his legendary 'Macbeth':

"Sequels, and reboots, and remakes,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief theater lights!
Movies are but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets an hour or more upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Somebody at Marvel or Disney or whoever the hell owns 'Guardians of the Galaxy' (Fox?) owes me $9.75!! The price of my movie ticket!! You bastards! You thieves in the night. You highway robbers lured me in with snazzy visuals then dumped your junk on my consciousness in a movie that's over 2 FUCKING HOURS which won't add a bit of relief to the continuous misery that is my life!! And if you cheat me there you've cheated me everywhere because that's why I and others go to watch your crap --to get away from our crappy lives! But you DENIED ME THAT ESCAPE with your BULLSHIT. You have millions of dollars to hire professional writers but what do you do? You allow your director who has the writing skills of a detention-surfing high school loser to use that money as if it were a multi-million dollar writing class!!! Fucking bullshit ass film.

-George Alan Booker

NOTE: to be fair I actually slept through half of the film (late showing) but whenever I woke up all I saw was shit hitting the fan! Nothing else. Not one smooch between lead characters Peter and Gamora!!